Tag Archive: anger


I was watching the newly released movie “Contagion” this past weekend with my wife, two of our friends and a couple of dogs…why am I telling you this? There was a scene in the movie where Matt Daemon looses his wife (Gwyneth Paltrow) to the deadly contagious disease that eventually infected 1 in 12 people across the world. The doctor is explaining to Daemon that his wife has just died; they did all they could to save her but her heart just could not keep up with the virus that was racing throughout her body.  Daemon’s repose to all of this was: “…when can I go talk to her?”.
While this may have been a source of comic relief in a film that had some intense moments, this was also quite an accurate portrayal of the emotions that many people feel when they are grieving. Denial is common; so is anger, and Daemon exhibited that not too long after his somewhat ridiculous request to speak with his dead wife. In fact, those who study human behavior have stated that denial, anger, bargaining, depression and eventually acceptance are all ways that we as humans respond to grief.

At Monkey Barrel last week the students explored the friendship between Jonathan and David from the book of 1 Samuel in the Old Testament of the Bible. Jonathan’s father (King Saul) was opposed to this friendship for a variety of reasons and eventually caused the friendship to be completely severed…or else he was going to kill David. Jonathan and David express some of the classic behaviors of grief as they journey though this difficult time. As time passed and Jonathan realized that it would not be safe for David to return to their land he discreetly sent a message to David telling him to leave forever. The two friends hugged, cried and then eventually accepted the reality of the situation and departed each in their own direction. Much later on when messengers came to tell David that Jonathan and his father Saul had been killed in battle David asked, “How do you know?” Once David realized that he could not deny his friend’s death any longer he became angry and killed the messenger that brought the bad news…(ever hear the expression, “don’t kill the messenger”?)

There are a variety of emotions that will accompany grief, especially if you are a teenager and you are experiencing a significant loss in your life for the first time. Many of these emotions are normal for a season of time and when kept in proportion to the loss experienced. (In your anger it is never right to kill or injure…David was not acting as a great example of faith in this example).

The most important thing to realize with grief is that you can express these things that you are feeling and that they will pass once you are able to accept the loss. Everyone grieves at a different rate but you can hold onto the truth that you will emerge on the other side with the help of God and the help of your friends. If you are grieving right now there is no need to grieve alone; speak with your friends, youth leaders, parents or others that you trust.

 

Galatians 6:2 “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Hebrews 4:15 “This High Priest of ours (Jesus) understands our weakness, for he faced all the same testing we do, yet he did not sin.”

This past week at Emergency Ministries and Monkey Barrel we talked about how to handle…anger. When channeled properly anger can motivate us to cure injustice and accomplish great things. When left to its own devices anger can tear us apart from the inside out. That is the difference between controlled anger and controlling anger.

There is a story in the Bible that goes something like this…

Once upon a time there was a guy named David. He and his men were out working and they ran out of food and provisions. So…they sent some people to ask a friendly neighbor if he could provide them with what they needed. The friendly neighbor turned out not to be so friendly after all. Nabal turned away the messengers and sent them back empty handed.

David was angry…and he decided to kill Nabal and all of his family. Not the best course of action but that is what he decided to do. Abagain was Nabal’s wife and she was a little more generous than her husband. Although she was angry that her husband was bringing David’s anger upon their family she decided not to take it out on her husband but rather to make the situation right. She loaded provisions on her donkey and rode them out to meet David…while he was on the war to murder her family.

David received Abagail and her provisions with happiness; his anger was subsided. Thanks to God, said David, his anger would not longer cause him to murder an entire family.

The moral of the story is this: Abagail controlled her anger, David allowed his anger to control him. Abagail did what was best with her anger, David was on the verge of murder.

There are going to be many things that anger you throughout your life. Anger is not a sin but rather it is a natural reaction to situations that are not pleasing to us. The way he handle anger is where the problems lie. Anger that controls you grows inside of you like mold on last week’s lunch leftovers. It spreads to other areas of your life and makes you angry at those things too. Though your anger might start with a teacher is can end with you angry at friends, school, studying, exams…all the way to the crossing guard on the way home.

Control you anger… “…in your anger do not sin”. If you find yourself in an angry situation take a moment to read what the book of Proverbs says about anger and then, like David, allow God to redirect your anger in a positive direction.

 

A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted (Prov. 12:16)