Tag Archive: the bachelor


After my last post regarding Bachelor Brad & Emily I had a very interesting conversation with my wife that I thought might be great to share here. As you will remember if you have read my last post or seen the July 11th interview with Emily Maynard, the details concerning Brad and Emily’s break up are somewhat ambiguous. What is certain, however, is that the contact harassment of the media and paparazzi did not help their relationship.

I asked for your thoughts about this and my wife had an interesting comment: perhaps this interview was a publicity stunt meant to divert the media and paparazzi attention so that Brad and Emily could continue to work on their relationship outside of the public eye? This may explain the ambiguity in Emily’s interview.

Whatever the case, I comment the couple for striving to work on their relationship, I commend Emily for refusing to move too fast (i.e. move in with Brad right away) and I commend the bravery it takes to live life with constant harassment by the media (something most of us have no concept of).

Hopefully Brad and Emily will both find happiness once the attention shifts to Ashley Hebert and her pending engagement to one of the three remaining guys!

Just a few short months ago I shared a blog post concerning Bachelor Brad and Emily’s relationship. While all seemed to go well on the show and at the final rose ceremony, things started to break down after the show. This is somewhat to be expected as the show kind of creates an artificial environment where the participants are somewhat sheltered from real life. It seemed in the final show that although Brad and Emily were struggling with their reentry into real life they were working through these issues in a consistent and responsible fashion.

Something happened just recently however; tabloids first reported that Brad and Emily had finally called it quits and this was followed up by an interview with Emily during last Monday’s episode of The Bachelorette. Emily’s request was that she wanted to tell the story just once and then put it to rest.

There is no doubt that the constant media attention and hounding was detrimental to this relationship. I cannot comprehend what this would be like and so I cannot comment on this aspect of the relationship. What puzzles me however is Emily’s description of what went wrong; it doesn’t really seem like anything went wrong. Emily said that she and Brad talk and text often, she still cares deeply for him, she would defend him should people talk bad about him, and Brad will continue to play a role in her life for a long time to come. It sound like they have become quite good friends…and where I come from that is the foundation of what could potentially make a really great marriage.

The only ray of light that Emily shed on this matter was that she felt life with Brad would be too unstable for her and her daughter. Emily stated that when anticipating a temporary relocation to Texas to be closer to Brad she wanted to have an apartment and other necessities all lined up prior to her departure; it seems as though Brad did not share this same desire to have life preplanned. Emily also mentioned her reluctance to move in with Brad right away…I can only speculate how this very countercultural behavioral impacted their relationship. Finally, Emily confessed her lack of confidence in Brad’s long-term affection for her; she was not confident that Brad would still want to be with her 6 weeks or even 6 months out. Yet they remain good friends; on this point I must confess I am confused.

Once again The Bachelor/ette has provided us with some interesting reflections on the state of love and marriage within our culture. I commend Emily on remaining strong and true to her morals and to the ideal of life she has for her and her daughter. It is better to know now that she and Brad wanted very different things in life than to get in too deep (i.e. married) and then pull the plug.

I honestly get the sense from both Brad and Emily that they entered this relationship with only the best motives and truly wanted this to work. Perhaps the failure of their relationship was a result of cultural expectations mixed with tabloid harassment? I just cannot figure this one out completely and from Emily’s tone I think this will be the last we hear from her… any thoughts?

There are a few topics that I cannot help blogging about: youth ministry, parents of teenagers (though I have no personal experience I have seen lots), Christian apologetics…and popular media. I am not sure how it all fits together but one thing can be sure, you will find it all here! Keeping that in mind, here are my thoughts on last night’s season finale of ‘The Bachelor’.

Last night I was painting our kitchen while listening to the final results of this season’s ‘The Bachelor’ unfold as Mandy sat in the living room silently (and at times not so silently) cheering on Emily, her favorite. I’ve blogged about this show before because of the sometimes strange views on love that it portrays. Last night was somewhat different however as the final girl standing, Emily (much to Mandy’s pleasure), displayed real class in fighting for what she felt was honor, respect, true love and commitment from the guy that she obviously does care for.

Two things emerge from Brad and Emily’s relationship that I think our culture should pay close attention to. Let me take a moment to share these with you.

On her final date with Brad, Emily questioned him about his readiness for not only a committed relationship with her but also about his readiness for fatherhood. You see, Emily has a little girl whose dad passed away before she was born; it is therefore very important for Brad to realize he is not only getting a wife but also a family. Emily pointed out that life would not always consist of fun, games and travelling the world (as they have on the show). There will be times that are no fun and times that they will argue about many things. I love what Emily did here because she shattered the picture perfect world of ‘happily ever after’ that seems to be promoted by shows like ‘The Bachelor’ and many others by infusing a small does of reality into reality TV. Life and love are not always fairytales; they both take work and sometimes that work is not fun. This does not mean that life and love are any less worth pursuing.

Brad’s reaction to Emily’s dose of reality was a little shocking: he was offended that Emily would think that he was not ready for all of this. He came around eventually, however, I think Brad was a little too idealistic to assume that having never been married and having never had kids that he could just jump right into marriage and fatherhood without missing a beat. As one who has been married for almost 7 years and been a father for just over 2 years, I can say that you don’t really know what you expect until you get in the thick of it. Sometimes it is more wonderful than you could ever imagine and sometimes its more difficult than you ever dreamed. As the show drew to a conclusion last night we all saw that Brad was beginning to realize the truth of Emily’s reality speech and he handled it with true class: he is willing to do what it takes to make their relationship work. This is the substance of reality!

The second thing that I think was so classy last night was Emily’s reaction to watching the whole season of ‘The Bachelor’ from home (they tape the show prior to airing it…Emily knew Brad had picked her before the show aired). Her question to Brad was this: If you say that you fell in love with me early on during the show (and he did say that), there were many things I saw you doing with other girls that I think you should have saved just for me. Monday night because an incredibly difficult night for Emily as each week she watched Brad take other women on dates and share moments with them that she would rather have not seen. She said it best when she told Brad that she knew this would not be the “Emily and Brad falling in love show” but she did not realize that he was going to give the producers so much other material to work with.

I give props to Emily for standing up for her share of honor and respect. I also give props to Brad for not letting her go when it would be easy to find many other women whose standards for love are much lower than Emily’s. Despite the rocky path that their relationship has taken over the past two months the two of them indicated that they are willing to put in the time and work necessary to become a better person for the other.

Last night was supposed to be their wedding ceremony, but Emily said that they still had to work some things out before that happened. According to Brad, letting Emily go is not an option and so the two of them will continue to strive to become better people for each other and for the sake of their relationship.

It is going to take work; however, that is the nature of true love! Congrats to ‘The Bachelor’ for infusing our culture with such an honest reality of love. I pray that Brad and Emily continue to have the resolve to see this through until the end.